It is amazing how many cues in life we take for granted. Things we reach for and rely on both in practical and emotional terms. Both I am finding are demanding some adaptation.
On a practical level I find I am having to re-invent my approach to personal living. Not only am I doing things I haven’t had to do much in the last few years such as washing pots and washing clothes but even in the preparation of food I reach for familiar implements or condiments and find them absent. I hadn’t realised too how much stock you build up in a house which you can reach to when lacking an essential ingredient. Indeed I note how much waste that can engender. Here my stock is the bare minimum. This creates too actions and reactions. I am eating through everything I have bought rather than accumulating small remains of say a bag of tomatoes or a lump of cheese and I am having to think much more closely about what I eat as I cannot simply have beans on toast or pasta with a simple sauce until I have a stock of foods. I cooked tuna the other night, lovely and fresh from the market and yet I wanted to add Cajun spice to give it a nice kick. No spices yet (note to self) so back pepper was my only choice.
Although this will change as I get my stock up what it is doing is forcing me react to what I do have and making me eat simply. This lunch I cooked eggs with tomatoes and ham and it was good and simple and ensured I used up my fridge ingredients.
On an emotional level I find I am lacking the normal cues of life too. TV is not a great choice, it is very limited and I have yet to find a voice for my DVD player that is showing magnificent pictures but no sound!! This has a positive in that I am working well and enjoying reading etc However when I want to relax and let the world pass me by I find the the security of watching a saved programme missing. This can leave me restless at the moment. Again a temporary state I hope. Also it was good to talk to my son on Facebook last night as no one will ring for a quick chat from the UK until they discover skype perhaps!!
None of the above makes me regret the decision to come at all. Far from it really. It is forcing me though to start re–assessing some things in my life and seeking new ways to exist and grow. But hey its different for a 58 year old stuck in his ways rather too much on reflection!!